Boundaries Series, Part Two: Taking Action
If you missed Part One of this series, I recommend reading it first (and scheduling some journal time) before continuing with this post. Awareness of what you need will drive the action you ultimately take.
The importance of action in the boundary setting process cannot be underestimated. Whether you decide to take a big action or smaller actions in support of your wellbeing, you will learn by doing. Action separates wanting from knowing. Knowing leads to increased fulfillment.
Grab your journal and the reflection work you've done. Thinking about your life right now, what makes the most sense as a starting point? Which of the things you want or need would make the biggest difference in your life? Move from awareness to action by taking the following steps.
First, articulate the boundary as a sentence.
A boundary statement includes the what, how, and why for what you will do. Some examples:
Three days a week, I'm going to get up at 5:45 am to enjoy a walk outside with my daughter as a way to get exercise and connect with each other.
On Sunday afternoons, I will make overnight oats for breakfast the following week, giving me more time to write in my gratitude journal on weekday mornings.
I will turn off all electronics at least one hour before bedtime to improve my quality of sleep and my energy level the following day.
Next, test it out.
Accountability goes hand-in-hand with action. Create a simple way to measure progress, such as a checklist on your phone. I'm personally a fan of placing a post-it note on my fridge and giving myself a star each time I take action. Without the accountability piece, chances are high you'll abandon the boundary after one or two misses.
Then, measure progress and make tweaks to your sentence.
After a few weeks, check-in with yourself to not only see how things are going, but also to determine if the boundary needs modification. Continuing with the boundary examples above, you may find:
Two days of walking is doable, three is a bonus. Change the sentence to reflect two days.
You're tired of overnight oats but found a new recipe for egg white blueberry muffins you can make. Give yourself flexibility to create a different breakfast every Sunday.
Your quality of sleep continues to suffer. In addition to no electronics an hour before bedtime, you add no food or drink to see if that helps.
Boundary setting is not a switch you can turn on and off. it is a dial you turn up and down until you find exactly what works for you. I'll wax nostalgic for a moment and recall that as a child, I remember moving the AM dial ever so carefully until we picked up the Mets game on the radio. It was a magic moment when the announcer's voice clearly came through the speakers. When you experience that kind of clarity with a boundary, you know you're on the right track.
Starting small, taking action, and assessing results lead to impactful changes over time.
Dr. Katie Stone is the founder of Together Evolving. Email Katie at katie.stone@togetherevolving.com to learn more about the transformational impact coaching has on you and your leadership.